Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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