Whod you bang
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
