I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
