Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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