I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
