Are we in a gay sports bar?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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