You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
