whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
