I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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