i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize