How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
