Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You may now shotgun with the bride
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
