sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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