Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
and she was petting her beer can
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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