Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
