Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
