Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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