If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
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