So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Randomize