I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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