Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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