What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize