it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
is it fun? or sober?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
