Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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