We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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