who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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