I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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