Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
