You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
