It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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