butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
