I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
