I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
