I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
