i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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