Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
