Kiss
Puke
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
