I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
