They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
