is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
