I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
babies were throwing up all over the place
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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