we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I love having hate sex.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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