did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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