He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
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and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
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Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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