No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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