you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
