i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think my moral compass just broke
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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