well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
