either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
