I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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