You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
