Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize