You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
