Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
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