it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The air taste purple.
Randomize
